Another exciting day at the McKenna resident ~ meditation and Yoga in the Spa Salon ~ writing and posting for blog in the Business Center ~ Lunch on the dock with Ahi Tuna later for dinner and lots of beer and imported wine before taking our jaunt by the Magnolia Shore ~ Now ~ onward and upward for a relaxing night by the harbor ~
Well, haven’t had my lung capacity checked lately but am not smoking more ~ in fact ~ have been trying to smoke less ~ I am down to 5-6 cigarettes a day ~ may kill me but I won’t die because of overindulged anything ~ LOL ~ oh, I did try to get an iced de-caf and a donut at Dunkin after our stroll ~ but Magnolia and Gloucester one were both closed ~ what is wrong with the picture????
My brain is getting tired of the excessive and scintillating conversations I have been having ~ Zoe is quite the conversationalist ~ Eat, drink, out ~ in ~ walk ~ and more treats now still vous plait ~ did I say, now??? ~ She does prefer beer (imported) and does not like wine domestic or otherwise.
Glad my son wrote that he has fond memories of Godzilla at the North Shore Theatre on Saturday afternoons ~ such education ~ what kid has that?
Ok ~ I am in for the night ~ ‘far from the Maddening Crowds.’ ~ No, I have not been drinking or smoking any ‘funny stuff.’ ~ Perhaps, bored out of my gourd?????
Been reflecting while combing through recipes for the holidays ~ I have reached the age where most of my life is behind me. Consequently, missing most of the people that were in my life and the traditions that ran through like a thread in woven fabric. Now, everything is moving like cyberspace; although, I noticed today that emails have gotten very slow in coming to one’s mailbox online. It would seem everything is texting and so few of my friends text but I do manage a few. I like texting as my hearing is not what it used to be ~ like everything else in my life ~ so rather not ‘talk’ on the phone. Though it would be good to have more daily human contact whether on the phone or in person. In person? What a novelty!
After ‘napping’ ~ not really, doggie wouldn’t let me sleep despite the cold cloudy day ~ My mind was racing about thoughts of Christmas past ~ much like Dickens in A Christmas Carol ~ I saw scenes from my life and felt the loving feelings that surrounded me yet it all seem to go by so fast. Arriving at this point in my life with very few of those people alive on this planet. I could see how Scrooge evolved into the lonely old miser. I am not a miser but I do get lonely at times and nostalgic and now is one of those times. I hardly feel, at times, that I belong on this planet. Anything trendy does not attract me, I am feeling very old physically and dealing with chronic pain and over all not long for this earth. Yet, I must outlive my little yorkie who has been my companion for 12 years now. I don’t want her to have to start over with some unknown owner. My small family is too busy to take on a little dog who loves her walks and attention regularly. So I must keep going for her.
Back to tradition ~ We seem to have lost something with each generation passing. Everything now is electronic, speed, and leaves me with a very empty feeling. There are few people left in my life to share any of those traditions. How the hell did this happen???
I am alone and for the most part I can handle my life that way. Right now though, I have no one to whom I could share my feelings so I am ‘reflecting on my blog’ where one can choose to read this or not. Thus, I don’t have to pretend a ‘jolly’ persona about the season. I don’t feel joyful about time at the moment. I feel I need to ‘let all these feelings out’ and stop the pain ~ emotional anyway, at least.’ I miss all those loving people that gave of themselves and made my Christmases so wonderful. I miss the giving and sharing love with them ~ It was not perfect ~ no one is perfect ~ It was loving. Grateful.
Bah, Humbug ~ sometimes it is just that way. ~ the ‘good, bad and the ugly.’ ~ Tis life.
How could this happen? Silly question. People that is how. I can’t believe that they would allow such judicial happenings. Yet, when you consider our ‘fearless leader’ ~ no surprise that the ‘in crowd’ would follow suit. Male Supremacy at its best. It is all a joke.
How can I have respect for the leaders of this country? They seem to be ruling with their ‘maleness’ to have ‘power over.’ No one has the right to ‘power over’ anyone. Yet, they seem to feel entitled to do so.
Think, I will go and focus on the Red Sox vs. Yankees where the rules for the most part are clear and most of the time those rules are followed. Do they deserve the money they make???? No!!!! Did I say anything, even baseball, makes sense in this country? Only to a point. It beats the options. Still love the United States of America.
Taoism would focus on the inner spirit to deal with the chaos outside of self. That is where I am; yet also, need to recognize the need to ‘vent’ to rid oneself of the ’emotion’ and then move on into the day. Going out for a walk and enjoy the day.
Artists like to ponder and mull over their thoughts, I guess. Using the left side of the brain is a little bit different than the right side where creativity is expressed. So here I am again reflecting.
Life is a gift. To live each day well. Find the sacred in the ordinary. It is where most of us live if we are not in power positions and or extremely wealthy. Each path is filled with the positive and negative, yin and yang, hills and valleys. Like the boat in the distance in my photo, keep a steady course and eye on the destination point. Ride the waves and enjoy the journey. Know when to find a safe port in the storm. That safe place is always within the self no matter where you are on your journey. You are the one who is in control of your direction. What will you choose today?
Time in each day is needed to ‘rest’ and I don’t mean sleep time. Always doing, doing is what our society seems to promote. I got caught in the ‘race’ too and now I am more aware of what my body, mind and spirit needs, gratefully. There is an adage ‘Youth is wasted on the young.’ Perhaps, some early wisdom might help. Yet, it takes time to learn, live and develop knowledge and skills and wisdom.
The haiku above is just one example of how I tune into my soul and listen to the wisdom my ‘higher self’ to tell me what I need at any given moment.I also meditate, do qi qong exercises, go for a regular massage, and simple walking with my Yorkie. I also find humor to be very nurturing and so very good for the soul. To laugh at life, situations, and most importantly, myself. It really is a ‘cosmic chuckle’ sometimes. There is also a rhythm to life. Just when you think ~ that was a great day ~ be prepared for the energy to change and have a not so good day or a plain out miserable day. Change is the one constant in life.We are all a ‘work in progress.’ Nothing is ‘fixed’ until the your body is six feet under and your spirit has moved on to the next life. Where is that? It is anyone’s guess. There are many religions that attempt to explain it and no one religion has a market on how to live and die. It is always your choice .
I spent a good deal of my life trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be. Now, I just don’t care. I am me and if you can not accept me that is fine. I pay my own bills, put bread and butter on my own table and on and on so I try to judge no one ~ especially myself. Let it be.
Perspective ~ Always trying to keep my life in perspective. Is it easy? Sometimes. Other times I feel my brain is ‘out in left field somewhere. It has been a journey like most people’s a road with ‘bumps’ ~ other times a smooth ride.
Right now, I am dealing with some difficulties. I was given medication for a voice tremor over 20 years ago and now my body seems to be rejecting the medication. Detoxing is not a fun time. Combine that with the ‘aging factor’ and being single I try my best to rise above any fear and or anxiety. I practice morning meditation, walk, create, write haiku, do photography, do yoga as ways to alleviate any stress factors. Keeping it all in perspective can be difficult. This photo helps with linear perspective and could be a metaphor on the road of life. Step by step reaching goals with the knarly gremlins being the trees to the side of the bridge. Nothing in life really goes in a straight line. It is all about change. Every moment is change. Learning to ‘go with the flow’ as they say. I do have a tendency to forget that I am a ‘work in progress’ ~ only will be fixed when life is over.
So onward and upward soaring through the skies of life. Gather the strength and courage to work through my fears and live each day well. Keeping my perspective.
Well, here I am again reflecting ~ Life is good in my immediate world. In the macrocosm, politically they seem to worsen every day. One of my main thoughts, is surely there is a means to get this ‘chief’ impeached. What is the hold up? We are being ‘held up’ by a serious mad man who continues to do more damage to the United States of America as well as the rest of the world. He seems to have no empathy for anyone. Puerto Rico is in dire straights and I see him doing very little. That is just one example and there are many more.
It is a waste of my time and energy to dwell on this issue; yet, I care about this country and its people. Change begins within and so I begin to change my attitude and try to live in the now, plan for the future and hope for the best. Like my photo above ~ I believe the light will purge through the dark times and this country will get its world back. The big question is when? I hope in time.